Feminism

Feminism is the radical notion that women are people too. Am I a feminist? Absolutely. Are you a feminist? Probably.

Feminism originally came about as an ideology to promote women's rights. Yes, that's what it still is. However, with third wave feminism, it's more than just that. First wave feminists wanted women to have the right to vote. Second wave feminists were the bra-burning, in-your-face types that seemed bent on world domination. Third wave feminism is somewhere in the middle--it's more based on the notion from the US Declaration of Independence: That everyone is created equal. We all deserve the same rights. Women don't deserve more rights than men; men don't deserve more rights than women. This notion can be taken much further than just sex. It applies to gender, race, nationality, and anything you can think of. (It shares a lot of common ground with humanism.)

You aren't better than me because you noticed that I oversimplified the definitions of the feminist waves. My high IQ doesn't make me better than you. You thinking I'm an arrogant snob for mentioning it doesn't make you better than me. :P My current struggle with depression and loneliness doesn't make me any less than anyone else. My salary doesn't make me better (or worse, for that matter) than anyone else. Your posessions or level of enlightenment don't make you more special. Your job doesn't make you better. Your struggle doesn't make you better. Your gender, height, appearance, skill, intelligence, creativity, accomplishments... none of this makes you any better than anyone else.

Your skills, experience, personality, and the likes may make you more valuable for a given job. We live in a capitalist society. There's no way around that. But why should your salary be dependent on how vocally you request a raise? Doesn't that mean that the person that doesn't demand a higher salary *doesn't* get the raise? Isn't there a problem here?

Am I a feminist? Absolutely. Have I always been a feminist? Well, not exactly. Having been raised in the church, being the son of a preacher, I had some deep, hidden beliefs that I didn't realize were there. I was "converted" in high school by a woman who later became my first wife.

What have I done since then? Well, I taught a rather self-deprecating frightened girl to see that she wasn't any less of a human being because she was female. This idea had been drilled into her head by her father throughout her entire life. It took her a long time, but she's finally blossoming as an independent individual. She's since moved on to a navy boy, and she's working on him too.

Birthdays

I have a birthday coming up in two weeks. I expect this to be the worst birthday ever. In fact, if I *don't* eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner alone, I will be amazed.

Okay, so I'm an introvert. I don't mind being alone. I don't mind eating alone. I'm perfectly happy with having one great friend. In fact, that's about all I've ever really been capable of doing. In April of last year, my best friend and I moved out to Los Angeles--a city 3000 miles from anyone either of us knew. I was fine with this. I had my one friend. In fact, I thought it was absolutely amazing being in a city full of strangers--just the two of us. We could be and become whomever we wanted.

I lost my fear of calling myself an atheist. I also lost my best friend.

She got a new friend. He wasn't really a new friend, actually. He was a guy that she had screwed over many years ago in order to wind up with me. He sent her flowers on her birthday, even after we got married.

In April of this year, she told me she was leaving me. A week later, my dad and stepmother came to spend a week with us here in Los Angeles. She pretended nothing was going on for their benefit. For much of May and June, I slept on our brand new sofa. The end of June, she moved out. She's now very happy with the new guy, and she believes she's finally found her soulmate. She's the happiest she has ever been in her entire life (her words). Last week, she went to North Carolina to see him. They are talking about getting married and starting a family by this time next year.

Last September, I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. It's amazing what can change in a year.


Today was her birthday. Well, happy birthday Bonnie. I hope you get everything you've ever dreamed of and more.






Okay... on a slightly more humorous note... I'm not going to have sex on my birthday. It'll be like my 18th birthday. Errr... well, maybe my 17th.

Skepticism. It's how the human race keeps learning things.

Skepticism has a bad reputation. We skeptics are often looked at as the evil naysayers that are unwilling to accept anything that isn't written in a science book.

A skeptic is someone who withholds judgement until all data is in. This doesn't just apply to aliens, Big Foot, and the Loch Ness Monster. This applies to everything. We're the people that also want proof for things like cold fusion and string theory. This isn't a bad thing. This is a good thing. It's this questioning nature that allows us to expand our vast pool of knowledge.

Did you know that the circumference of the earth was measured in about 240BC? By the 1st century AD, it was well accepted that the earth is round. What about the notion that people of Columbus' time were afraid that he would fall off the edge of the Earth? This was an idea create by Washington Irving in 1828. Don't take my word for it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_earth

Isaac Newton gave us equations to measure gravity. He was wrong. What about Albert Einstein? Well, he was wrong too. According to his equations, the galaxies require significantly more mass to behave as they do. As a result, we have theories of dark matter and dark energy. They are called "dark" because we can't see them. Until we have a definitive reason for replacing general relativity, this is the best we can do: assume there is stuff out there we can't see. While we may very well be fascinated with the notion, a skeptic doesn't particularly like this method of assuming something is out there just because the numbers say so (Einstein also theorized white holes in addition to black holes). Until reason is given to believe otherwise, "Dark Matter" goes in the crazy theory list--right along with String Theory.

Okay, so relativity is an approximation, though significantly more accurate than Newtonian gravity. What about string theory? It's a theoretical mathematical model of the universe that is so far out there that it makes no predictions and therefore can't really be disproved. This is like the idea of trying to prove that yesterday really happened--that we weren't all created fifteen minutes ago with memories of yesterday and a world around us that looks like it was here yesterday. Okay. I can't prove yesterday really happened. The best I can do is assume it did and assume that I'm going to be held responsible for what I remember doing yesterday. The theory of yesterday is a plausible theory, but it's completely useless. It makes no predictions. It doesn't enlighten us to any new knowledge we didn't already have. The theory doesn't help us with what to do tomorrow.

So what do we actually know? Well, technically nothing. But that's more of a philosophical debate than a discussion of skepticism. ;)

Quantum Electrodynamics (i.e. QED): Quantum theory as we know it hasn't changed a bit since 1932. Every time we create better testing equipment, we see that we were right in 1932. Okay, this is a little misleading. We've learned a lot since 1932. However, we have yet to find one shred of evidence to imply that the fundamental method of calculating probabilities is incorrect.


There is another theory that also has such an abundance of evidence. Despite its unpopularity in some circles, it's the foundation of a very large and important division of science. In fact, it's the reason people get flu shots every year. It's the reason you are supposed to take ALL of the antibiotics prescribed to you. It's the reason incredibly strong antibiotics don't work any more. It's the reason there are so many breeds of dogs. This theory has been around longer than QED, and yet no one has found any sound evidence to disprove it. Like all scientific theories, it only takes one piece of evidence.

A T-Rex with a human in its mouth would be enough to disprove evolution.


But don't take my word for it.

Divorce

As always, there are [at least] two sides to every story. With divorce, there is generally the person that leaves and the person that gets left behind. According to REM ("Leaving New York"), it's easier to leave than to be left behind. This is most definitely true.

While ending my first marriage was difficult, it was the most liberating thing I have ever done. It was difficult for a multitude of reasons, including that I knew I was hurting someone I loved. On top of that, I didn't move back in with my family. This was a huge financial strain (one that I'm still feeling today, nearly six years later), but the freedom and independence was well worth it, and I knew it at the time. I gave up nearly everything for my freedom.

In April of this year, my second wife told me she was leaving. This has been a remarkably different experience. I've been on anti-anxiety medication since shortly before moving out here, and that has made a world of difference. If it weren't for this, I would probably be suicidal again (that discussion belongs in a different blog).

In order to avoid allowing this post to devolve into a whine-fest (which I don't think anyone really wants to read), I'm going to sum up this paragraph by saying that my life is a bit depressing at the moment, and I'd love to hear from you people!

Anyway, my ex is already talking about getting married again, but I'm now petrified of commitment. I'm afraid I'm going to wind up with someone else that pretends to be everything I've dreamed of. I'm turning 27 in two weeks, and most of the women my age are ready to settle down and start a family.

I don't think I can go through this again.



What do you think? Is the bliss and emotional stability that comes with love worth the risk of emotional obliteration? Do you see things differently?

Freedom and Choice

According to Christian philosophy, god created us in his image, but capable of making our own decisions. Eve ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. At this point, "sin" was impressed upon our existence.



Why did god allow the possibility of sin? Why did god give us the ability to choose between right and wrong? If god is without sin, then he is not truly all powerful. After all, this restriction means that *I* can do things that the Christian god cannot. I can move a five pound object from one location to another that god, in all his might, cannot. Why can he not move this five pound object? It's in a museum and it isn't for sale. For god to move this object, he would have to commit a sin: stealing. Yes, god should theoretically be able to create a duplicate of that object, but under absolutely no circumstances would god be able to actually *take* that object, as this would contradict the definition of god being perfect. If I can do something simple that he is not capable of doing, why should I strive to be like him?



Clearly, we have a capability that god does not: choice. Free will. By extension, we have something that he does not and cannot. We have something that many people have fought, killed, and died to keep. We have something that we treasure so highly that we believe everyone else should have it as well: freedom. God does not have freedom. There is no sin in heaven. Therefore, there is no freedom in heaven.



I like being capable of driving 66 mph in a 65 zone. I like being able to cross the street when there are no cars nearby, despite the fact that I'm not at a crosswalk or intersection. I like being able to expect women to be able to think for themselves (instead of being required to be silent at church and being required to ask their husbands what was meant). I like being able to overindulge myself on chocolate.



Why strive to give up the one thing that makes us more powerful than god? God cannot choose between the lesser of two evils, as both would constitute a sin.



To top it off, god *knew* eve would eat from the tree of good and evil, unleashing sin, suffering, and death upon us, and he still allowed it. In our legal system, this would make him a willing accomplice... guilty by proxy.