Divorce

As always, there are [at least] two sides to every story. With divorce, there is generally the person that leaves and the person that gets left behind. According to REM ("Leaving New York"), it's easier to leave than to be left behind. This is most definitely true.

While ending my first marriage was difficult, it was the most liberating thing I have ever done. It was difficult for a multitude of reasons, including that I knew I was hurting someone I loved. On top of that, I didn't move back in with my family. This was a huge financial strain (one that I'm still feeling today, nearly six years later), but the freedom and independence was well worth it, and I knew it at the time. I gave up nearly everything for my freedom.

In April of this year, my second wife told me she was leaving. This has been a remarkably different experience. I've been on anti-anxiety medication since shortly before moving out here, and that has made a world of difference. If it weren't for this, I would probably be suicidal again (that discussion belongs in a different blog).

In order to avoid allowing this post to devolve into a whine-fest (which I don't think anyone really wants to read), I'm going to sum up this paragraph by saying that my life is a bit depressing at the moment, and I'd love to hear from you people!

Anyway, my ex is already talking about getting married again, but I'm now petrified of commitment. I'm afraid I'm going to wind up with someone else that pretends to be everything I've dreamed of. I'm turning 27 in two weeks, and most of the women my age are ready to settle down and start a family.

I don't think I can go through this again.



What do you think? Is the bliss and emotional stability that comes with love worth the risk of emotional obliteration? Do you see things differently?